i know you cut again tonight
i know you’re giving up
i know you’ve been crying
i know those thoughts came back

those thoughts of quitting
those thoughts of turning
those blades vertical and slicing
those scarred arms of yours

however

i don’t know what will happen now
i don’t know what you’re thinking
i don’t know if it will stop
i don’t know if i’ll see you tomorrow

and that scares me to death.

More Sirens

From the bed of my room,
I hear the crackle of a house on fire,
The screams of a shooting victim 
The sobs of a bank robbery hostage
The whispers of drug dealers. 

From the foot of the window, 
I turn my back after watching
A police car go by 
And an ambulance go by
And a fire truck go by. 
I shut out the sounds.
They are very normal.

O God, if you are there,
If you even exist,
Please tell me where those high Pitched noises come from.
O God, if you care, 
Please tell me where they are going.

And how isn’t it very strange
How those screeches of electronics
Represent an emergency,
Something terrible occurring,
And how when you hear them,
Or when you see them,
You get out of the way?

You disregard them.
You shut them out,
For they are not your problem
And you are not their solution.
So God, if you are not blind,
Tell me, please,

Where are those sirens going?

More Sirens

From the bed of my room,
I hear the crackle of a house on fire,
The screams of a shooting victim
The sobs of a bank robbery hostage
The whispers of drug dealers.

From the foot of the window,
I turn my back after watching
A police car go by
And an ambulance go by
And a fire truck go by.
I shut out the sounds.
They are very normal.

O God, if you are there,
If you even exist,
Please tell me where those high Pitched noises come from.
O God, if you care,
Please tell me where they are going.

And how isn’t it very strange
How those screeches of electronics
Represent an emergency,
Something terrible occurring,
And how when you hear them,
Or when you see them,
You get out of the way?

You disregard them.
You shut them out,
For they are not your problem
And you are not their solution.
So God, if you are not blind,
Tell me, please,

Where are those sirens going?

if you had asked me a year ago what my life would be like, i would have told you that i’d be madly in love with girl of my dreams. i never would have thought i’d be disconnected and scared to talk to her.